John Gray with "How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have"

Unlock the secrets to a fulfilling life with John Gray's transformative guide, "How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have." This book is a treasure trove of practical advice and powerful strategies designed to help you identify your true desires and achieve them. By understanding and meeting your emotional needs, you can create a life filled with joy, purpose, and satisfaction.

1.John Gray gives us ways of “how to get what you want”? 

In order to get what you want, you need to understand your emotions a lot. If you make it clear, you will easily address all of the things coming to you. You gradually realize what you want and attract what you think.

1.1.Identifying Core Desires

Gray begins by guiding readers on how to identify their core desires. He explains that many people pursue superficial goals driven by societal expectations, rather than what truly fulfills them. By introspecting and understanding one's deepest needs and passions, individuals can set meaningful goals. Gray suggests exercises such as journaling and meditation to help uncover these core desires.

You need to indentify your desire in order to get thing you want - Source: Internet

1.2.The Role of Emotional Balance

Emotional balance is crucial for overall well-being. Gray discusses the concept of emotional balance as the ability to manage and harmonize our emotions, rather than suppressing or ignoring them. 
He introduces the idea of the "Love Tank," a metaphorical representation of our emotional state, which needs to be regularly filled with positive experiences and self-care practices. Techniques such as mindfulness, regular physical activity, and spending time with loved ones are recommended to maintain this balance.

Balance your emotion is also import within developing yourself - Source: Internet
As mentioned in his book, interestingly citing “ If you do not know how to process and let go of negative feelings by healing the heart, you will continue to want what you can’t have anymore”.

1.3.Overcoming Emotional Blocks

Gray identifies common emotional blocks such as fear, guilt, and resentment that prevent individuals from achieving their desires. He provides strategies to overcome these blocks, including cognitive restructuring, which involves changing negative thought patterns, and emotional release techniques, such as talking through feelings with a trusted friend or therapist. By addressing and resolving these emotional barriers, individuals can move forward more freely towards their goals.

2. John Gray teaches us ways of “wanting what you have”

Achieving your desire or achieving what you want to get, the significant factor “strategies”.

2.1.Setting Clear Goals

Setting clear your purpose , specific, and achievable goals is essential for personal fulfillment. Gray emphasizes the importance of writing down goals and breaking them into smaller, manageable steps. He introduces the SMART criteria (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) as a guideline for effective goal setting. This approach helps to maintain focus and motivation, making the path to achieving goals more structured and less overwhelming.

John Gray
emphasizes strategy via module "SMART" - Source: Internet

2.2. Positive Thinking 

The power of positive thinking is the biggest secret of what attracts. This book explains how maintaining a positive outlook can influence one's ability to achieve success. Author of the book suggests techniques such as affirmations, visualization, and surrounding oneself with positive influences. By fostering a positive mindset, individuals can overcome challenges more effectively and stay motivated toward their goals.

Learning the positive thinking - Source: Internet

2.3. Learning love yourself 

Priority for loving yourself also creates a plan. The reason we always love ourselves is that the only way to dismiss your negative thoughts. Citing this book, John Gray emphasizes “ When we feel pain, the mind believes something, and the soul it is not true”.  If anyone is not loving enough for herself or himself, he or she falls down emotionally easily.  However, we can not deny that pain makes us mature, and accept what happens in life. 

3.John Gray mentions Vitamin S in his book 

I think that many people have a surprising feeling with the word “Vitamin S”. In this book, John Gray magically uses the word self - love into Vitamin S.  
The definition “Vitamin S” according to John Gray, when two people who were in love fall out of love, they are usually missing vitamin S (self - love). When we are low on self - love, we begin expecting too much from our partner. Since we don’t love ourselves, we need more from what our partners says or does, it is not enough. When you are missing self - love, your partner's love cannot make you feel better - only you can do that. 

During changing mindset, Vitamin S or called self - love play important role - Source: Internet


In society nowadays, learning to balance emotion or how to attract what we desire is more and more popular. And this book helps you address every issue related to developing yourself.


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