Why bother taking a DNA Test to discover your genealogy? Just go buy a lottery ticket, and if you win, all your distant relatives will find you.
Today is the one that introduces yesterday to tomorrow. If it weren't for Today, Nostalgia would never meet hope.
I morphed from a fly to a flower to a butterfly, which is like a combination flower and fly. I thought I was in love, but I was merely asleep.
When it's raining, I like to drive like a Monet painting, as I turn off my wipers and let the lights blur the shapes. Makes traveling more romantic.
I dance like both my shoes are nailed to the wall. It goes way beyond mere performance and into the realm of art. I am the Rodin of the music world.
I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave.
If I owned a bulldozer, it would be my paintbrush, and the land would be my canvas. My art would be full of streams, creeks, and waterfalls.
Some people sing and dance. I do the opposite of that, and I think the only person who could truly appreciate my art is Helen Keller.
I golf like a Jackson Pollock painting. I splatter my shots all over the place and then I act like I just produced a masterpiece.
Seth Rogen is a funny guy. In fact, his sense of humor is so advanced that when he tells a joke, he's the only one who laughs.
Having a good life doesn’t mean nothing bad happens. It means using sadness and setback as mechanisms for spiritual growth. That’s the highest form of farming.
I got a new golf bag. I keep it full of sad harmonica tunes that I hand out like Halloween candy to all the rainy-eyed players.
The harmonica has musical wind, and is the breath of soul. It’s like a sad, lonely I love you lost in the breeze.
