You see a child play, and it is so close to seeing an artist paint, for in play a child says things without uttering a word. You can see how he solves his problems. You can also see what’s wrong. Young children, especially, have enormous creativity, and w
Most people are aware of and sensitive to how they want to be treated. By adjusting yourself to how other people want to be treated, you become more effective in your communication.
Pressure, demands, and expectations create stress and can make you feel self-critical and powerless. You may find it difficult to sleep or may feel physical pain in your body.
Communication is dependent on the recipient. When the recipient has filtered the message though their frame of reference, prejudices, and experiences, what remains is what they understand. Regardless of what you actually meant.
As I mentioned previously, Reds often have a clear and distinctive body language. You can usually recognize a Red from a distance.
There are two situations in which you can just be you: The first situation is when you’re alone in a room.
If everyone were a driven leader, there would be no one left to be led. If everyone were an enthusiastic entertainer, there would be no one to amuse. And if everyone were a detail-oriented perfectionist, there wouldn’t be anything to keep in order.
He throws up another ball to juggle. The problem with all the balls is that he might be able to keep them in the air for a while, but he can't get them down into the right box at the right time. Instead, he leaves the room and the juggled balls tumble dow
But the most important lesson that you can walk away with is that the idiots who surround you are, in fact, not idiots at all. Instead, they are individuals worthy of respect, understanding, and being valued.
It’s all about the mask you wear to fit into a given situation. We all have several different masks. Having one at work and one at home isn’t that unusual. And another one for visiting the in-laws, perhaps
Everyone looked forward to the party, but the Yellow advisor never showed up; she had accidentally double-booked that day. There must have been a wedding on that same weekend. Or maybe a relative was turning fifty. As a matter of fact, it might have been
A more effective way to spot a liar is to notice if he puts the palm of his hand on his chest—preferably his right hand over his heart—and sighs indignantly when he’s been accused of lying.
About 80 percent of all people have a combination of two colors that dominate their behavior. Approximately 5 percent have only one color that dominates behavior. The others are dominated by three colors.
Personal space is a relative thing for Yellows. While some colors don’t like having people sit too close to them, Yellows will willingly move up very close. Yellows can spontaneously start hugging everyone around them. Man or woman, it doesn’t really matt
As cognitive scientists have emphasized in recent years, cognition is embodied; you think with your body, not only with your brain.
They needed no alcohol before daring to “loosen up” and become approachable. In fact, you could easily get the impression that they always were a bit tipsy, because they had that frolicsome energy. They saw life as one long celebration that should always
On the one hand, he’s a bad listener, and on the other hand, he has what some psychologists might call a selective memory. He simply forgets the difficult bits, and with his positive ethos he finds it easy to say to himself that he doesn’t have any faults
You have most probably run into this person: an exciting human being who is incredibly charismatic, nice, charming and helpful. Who always has a compliment up his/her’s sleeve. And who will be guaranteed to make you feel good. You will believe what you’re
Flexibility and the ability to interpret other people's needs is what characterizes a good communicator
Psychopaths believe that their splendid qualities give them the right to live off of others. They never pay the bills if they can get someone else to do it. They often have debts and owe taxes because little details like income tax and bill due dates bore
It takes a strong mind to move things forward, someone who understands that risks that are part of everyday life and that everything boils down to hard work from morning to night — for many years.
Reds are quick and more than happy to take command if needed. They make things happen. However, when they get going, they become control freaks and can be hopeless to deal with. And they repeatedly trample on
They don’t even know how they’re going to respond when opportunities arise. Exciting—sure, but it’s exhausting for those around them. With Green associates, however, you don’t need to worry.
Here the Green’s thoughtfulness becomes apparent—he has infinite regard for those around him. This is partly the reason why it’s difficult to get a straight answer from a Green. He’s always trying to satisfy everyone else.
The advantage for a Red is that he gets everything done his way. The disadvantage is obvious: everyone else feels controlled. Some people think it’s a good thing when someone else makes the decisions and holds the baton, but others feel limited and just w
Parents must not only have certain ways of guiding by prohibition and permission, they must also be able to represent to the child a deep, almost somatic conviction that there is meaning in what they are doing.
It takes a strong mind to move things forward, someone who understands that risks that are part of everyday life and that everything boils down to hard work from morning to night—for many years. Reds understand this from the beginning and are in no way in
You might call a Red person bold, ambitious, driven, but also potentially hot-tempered, rash, or dominant. You quickly notice a Red person because he doesn’t make the slightest effort to conceal who he is. A Red person is a dynamic and driven individual.
It takes a strong mind to move things forward, someone who understands that risks that are part of everyday life and that everything boils down to hard work from morning to night
You look really closely, you will see a person who is crossing the square at a brisk pace completely disregarding the people standing in his way. With his gaze fixed on a point a bit in front of him, the Red speeds up and crosses the square without any pr
Tempo. Not quite the same rate of action as Reds, but a decidedly fast pace. Have you met anyone who, when in a hurry to say something, kind of stumbles over his words? Only half of them really come out as they should. You can surmise what is being said,
Consequently, they won’t use too many gestures. Imagine a Yellow: a really outgoing and dynamic figure—and now think the opposite. Take away all movements that aren’t needed (most of them, according to Blues) and you begin to get the picture. Stone-faced,
Everything you say to a person is filtered through his frames of reference, biases, and preconceived ideas
Reds and Yellows tend to inflate their strengths and believe that they have no weaknesses. They have powerful egos, and a great part of their success can probably be attributed to the fact that they don’t get bogged down in faults and shortcomings but ins
The most important lesson that you can walk away with is that the idiots who surround you are, in fact, not idiots at all. Instead, they are individuals worthy of respect, understanding, and being valued.
We see what we do, but we do not see why we do what we do. Thus, we assess and appraise each other through what we see that we do
Ambition, which is intrinsic to Reds, shouldn’t be confused with a lust for power. Reds have no problem taking positions of power, since they are fearless. Expressions like “It’s lonely and windy at the top” don’t scare them. But for a Red power is not an
Hope is the enduring belief in the attainability of fervent wishes, in spite of the dark urges and rages which mark the beginning of existence. Hope is the ontogenetic basis of faith, and is nourished by the adult faith which pervades patterns of care.
The stronger your self-understanding is, the greater your probability of adapting to the people around you.
Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive. If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired
By adjusting yourself to how other people want to be treated, you become more effective in your communication.
They are good at testing the limits. They continue until someone becomes too angry and puts his foot down. And, of course, then the Yellow feels hurt.
Whatever people’s judgment of me may be, that is the way they perceive me. Regardless of what I really meant or intended. As always, it’s all about self-awareness. Good qualities can become drawbacks in the wrong circumstances, no matter what the quality
A Yellow’s body language is often very open and inviting. Smiles appear constantly, even when there’s not much to smile about. They joke around a lot and can be very relaxed. When visiting a neighbor he doesn’t know that well, a Yellow may just stretch ou
No matter what’s happening behind the façade, Reds will sound convincing. No stammer, no hesitation. Finger on the trigger. If we don’t listen, they will repeat it one more time, but louder. In the end, they always get through
The temperament and character traits we have inherited affect our behavior, a process already begun at the genetic stage.
When the recipient has filtered the message though their frame of reference, prejudices, and experiences, what remains is what they understand. Regardless of what you actually meant.
If a particular method works, why change it? While a Yellow or Red would find new ways of doing something simply because they were bored, a Blue repeats the same thing time and time again.
It takes a strong mind to move things forward, someone who understands that risks are part of everyday life.
Dismiss personal jealousy and complaints. Learn to have tolerance and patience, both with yourself and with others.
The most important lesson that you can walk away with is that the idiots who surround you are, in fact, not idiots at all.
Everything you say to a person is filtered through his frames of reference, biases, and preconceived ideas.
Flexibility and the ability to interpret other people's needs is what characterizes a good communicator.
