Quotes by A. Whitney Brown

“ Plant trees. They give us two of the most crucial elements for our survival: oxygen and books. “

-A. Whitney Brown-

Plant trees. They give us two of the most crucial elements for our survival: oxygen and books.

I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates of money at the end.

The Bible says, 'The truth shall make you free.' But let's not forget it was Spiro Agnew who said that a good lie will keep you out of jail in the first place.

Enjoy every minute. There's plenty of time to be dead.

There are a billion people in China. It's not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people. Think of it. More than a billion people. That means even if you're a one-in-a-million type of guy, there are still a thousand guys exactly like you.

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

I'm not an atheist. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.

The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals; I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Introducing A. Whitney Brown

A. Whitney Brown is an American writer, comedian, and former cast member of "Saturday Night Live" (SNL). Known for his witty and satirical commentary, Brown was a regular contributor to SNL's "Weekend Update" segment in the late 1980s. He also authored "The Big Picture," a collection of essays showcasing his sharp humor and observational skills.